Archive for the ‘Personal Stories’ Category

Cops Called On A 9 Year Old

April 27, 2009 1 comment

At the ripe old age of 9, I had police called on me.Freaking Swat!

It was in Pleasenton California where my cousins used to live. I would go down with the rest of my family and visit them every other year if possible. When I was 9, I went down there and spent some time with my aunt. It was at this point my loving aunt thought to buy me a cap gun.

Now, if you know me, you probably know that I am a reasonably calm person with a few short spurts of incoherence and dismissive thinking. Reverse that, and you have me at 9. I was the most idiotic, stupid child in the world. Keep this in mind.

So, I have the cap gun. Of course I do the first thing every 9 year old does when he gets his first cap gun, go out in the backyard and shoot imaginary ninjas! They were behind the flowerpots, over the fence, around the house, even in the fricken ground if you can believe it. They were everywhere, but I wasn’t worried, I had Cap Gunmy cap gun!

It was after what was probably the 90th cap that a neighbor comes over and knocks on my aunt’s door.

*BANG BANG BANG* (him knocking on the door)

“What the **** is that noise? My ******* dog ran through our screen door and broke a vase after hearing those pops!!”

My aunt goes and opens the door. She can’t believe that this guy is going so crazy.

No, seriously, this guy was nuts.

“Who the **** is going to pay for my stuff?! You?!” he’s pointing at me

Now you can understand how this is scaring me. My aunt keeps calm and says it won’t happen again. After many more explicative’s, he leaves with the promise to bring cops the next time it happens.angry neighbor

So, it’s the next day, and I am bored. I can’t believe I did this, but I took the gun and went out again. I shoot more ninjas (or were they pirates?) and had much fun. Not more than 3 minutes later, however, and I heard the dreadful sound again:


My aunt looks at me, and reluctantly opens the door again. His time however, he doesn’t look mad. In fact, he has a smile on his face.

“My dog ran through the door I just installed earlier today. I am calling the cops, and I will sue your ***!” he walks away in the manner I would imagine Wile E. Coyote would if he finally caught the roadrunner. A few minutes later, a cop appears around the corner to assess the situation. At this point I should mention that 3 nice neighbors who know me come stand by my aunt and talk to the cops with her. They (the mean neighbors, the cop, and the good neighbors) talk as a group for about 5 minutes. Then I can hear the cop finally say:

Happy me!“Ok, where is this guy, I want to talk to him” I come out from inside the house, and the cop stares at me. He looks to the mean neighbors and laughs and drives away. I learn later that up until the point, he had assumed I was a teenager causing trouble. When he saw I was 9, he just left, apparently not wanting to deal with the mean neighbors. After it was all done, I was quite happy! (see pic on the left) Needless to say, I never shot a cap off again. However, I was never able to walk past them without getting an evil glare…

-Trenton Stahl

This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.

The Day I Almost Killed A Guy

March 25, 2009 1 comment

When I was about 10 years old, i went on a 4th of July vacation with my family to Ocean Shores. One of the things that has since been made a necessity to all trips there is Go-Kart racing. There is this little go-kart and ice cream parlor there that trumps all in fun and sweets. At the time of this story, I was just old enough (for whatever reason the manager thought 10 years was old enough) to use one of the “fast” karts.

So it began. Oh it was innocent enough to being, I just rode around and had fun racing my family at various intervals. However, the story comes to a head at the end of the race when the person operating the race came out into the middle of the track and started to flag everyone into the side-area where all the karts were stored before a race began. Now, you have to understand that I had never had any experience driving anything at all, so when he came out to the middle of the track, I panicked.

He saw I wasnt going to stop, so he dodged left. For whatever reason, I then went left. He went right, I went right…BAM! He went flying over my head several feet behind me. Meanwhile, I went into temporary shock, thinking I killed a guy and kept going straight until I hit the tire wall.

It turns out I broke both the guys’ legs, but it could have been worse. Now, I dont know if this is related, but the next year we went there, the age limit had been significantly increased.

-Trenton Stahl

This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.

The Duct Tape Story

March 25, 2009 4 comments

duct-tapeWhen I was a young lad (about 12) I had a horrible experience that will forever follow me to my grave.

It all starts with me watching Pokemon. When i was younger, I loved pokemon. I did nothing but watch it in my spare time. Now, one day while I was waiting for the commericals to get over and done with, I wandered downstairs to see what was cooking for dinner. It turns out my Mother was cooking some meat dinner that I didnt want. But, before I left the kitchen, I grabbed a roll of duct tape from the cubboard. I went upstairs and it turns out Pokemon had come on without me, so I sat right down and started to watch.

Now, here is where the story gets weird. For some reason unknown to me, I decided to wrap both my legs from the knee to the ankle with tape. Dont ask me why, I dont know, but I did it. At the end of the show I looked on my legs in utter horror and dismay. I knew my parents were going to be mad, so I hid what I had done. Too scared to rip the tape off, I let the adhesive seep into my skin for about 3 days.

Then, one morning I woke to find my dad screaming at me. Apparently he had come into my room early in the morning to drop off some clothes, and saw my legs that had drooped over the edge of my blanket. Needless to say I was quite scared with the whole situation. Luckily this was over a summer vacation, and I didnt have to go to school, for a while. this gave me all the time I needed t rip this wretched stuff off. With my dad’s help, and my sister getting me athletes tape remover, I was able to peel the stuff off (and in some parts, out of ) my skin.

To this day, I am never allowed to forget what happened, and my family is more than happy to bring up the incident.

-Trenton Stahl

This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.

An Attack On Science Fiction

February 24, 2009 1 comment

A week ago I was contacted, via instant messaging, from a teacher of mine regarding how my summer vacation was going, lets call him Ted. We talked about what I had been doing with all my time, and I told him about taking it easy, watching some science fiction shows and such.

It was at this point that he pointed out how useless science fiction is, that it is a waste of time and no one should give it any attention. He asserted that things like star trek and aliens have no place in this world, especially when there are things like sports.

Now, unbeknownst to him, I had done an extensive paper on the value of science fiction, and what star trek has contributed to society. So when he said sci-fi was a waste, I just smiled.

“Oh, what?” He asked “You think it is worth all the hubbub people have given it? I can give you several reasons why sports are more worth the time of the world. They give you exercise, a sense of teamwork, and belonging. Science fiction cant give you those” At this point he leaned back in his chair, looking quite pleased with himself.

Trying to calm myself from the inner anger I was feeling, I took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes before proceeding. He had no idea what was about to happen, and I took more than a little pleasure from it.

“So,” I began “you think science fiction is a waste of time do you?”


“So how do you explain the technological advances achieved because of the inspiration star trek gave people? How about Martin Cooper? Because of a star trek episode he created the first cell phone. Or how about how the modern hypodermic needle was inspired by star trek?”

“Eh…” (His canadian was showing)

“Oh, but that’s not all there is. You said people that play sports get a sense of teamwork. Ok, that may be true, but so do gamers who play science fiction games with each other. Those online ties are so powerful that many games have been branded as addicting.”

He was about to start talking again

“Oh no, Im not done yet!” I interrupted “You say that science fiction in all its ways are useless? How about the millions of jobs it has given people? Whether it be writers, directors, filmers, or actors, many of them have jobs only because of science fiction related media. And lets not forget the multi-billion dollar merchandise selling business.

“But lets not just talk about science fiction, lets address these sports you admire so much. According to a study done in 2007, over 45% of the beer consumed in the united states was due to sport related activities. Whether it be the super bowl, the Olympics, a local game, or just monday night football. Now consider how many people have gotten killed by being drunk, or by a drunk person, who was one of that 45%?

“But hey, I can talk about other things. Lets take a look at the drugs. Because of the massive pressure to perform, there has been an incalculable number of people taking performance enhancing drugs. This includes the professionals and amateurs.

“But lets get back to sci-fi. What of the above things can you attribute to science fiction? What is so bad about it that you make it out to be the devil? I want to know why it is you think is do damn bad about sci-fi!”

I have received no reply.

-Trenton Stahl

This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.