Advanced Apathy

Since the inception of science fiction (and probably a great deal before that too) time machines have been a topic of great discussion and controversy. Putting aside the obvious paradoxes (does killing your Grandfather kill you?) it is interesting to think about what I would do if given a time machine. Here is the top five list of things to do with one:

1) Monetary Gain
Face it, when people hear about traveling back in time, they often think about how that could benefit them. Being able to go back has historical purposes, sure, but nothing can really compare to winning a boat-load of money from a super bowl you knew about, or a stock that is destined to skyrocket (helloooo Microsoft!).

2) Curiosity
Ever want to see some of the major events in history? How about the crusifixion? A major game in sports? An epic rock concert? Any of these and more are among events in history that changed our culture and (in some cases) the world. Also, you could take pictures for personal or financial (see #1) reasons. Don’t forget though, sometimes we just want to experience it.

3) Intellectual Exploration
This may just be the geek in me, but the first thing I would do with a time machine is go back and have a sit-down with Einstein. He was one of the most brilliant men in history. His discoveries shaped the world, and changed our perspective on the universe. Others may be Mark Twain, Edgar Rice Burrows (read some books people!), and Martin Luther King Jr. Each left their own marks on history, and no doubt had many insights left untapped.

4) Notoriety
Having knowledge of the future gives a person outrageous possibilities. Go back and proclaim the Titanic was going to sink from an ice berg, become a psychic. Warn people of impending weather catastrophes, be known as a prophet. Simply be in the right place at the right time to save a life, and be a saint. The options are limitless, and you could be known forever. Of course, if it’s in the recent past, people may do a background check and wonder who you are.

5) Change History
We all know something we want to change. Hitler started WW2, Castro brought communism to Cuba, the Air Force hid the little green aliens. Any of these situations and many more could have been prevented or changed with the right person in the right place at the right time. It may not be ok, and it could have devastating consequences, but we all know something we would have wanted different, or someone saved. We could do either, but it could very well have devastating consequences. The butterfly effect comes to mind…

Of course, there are many other things I did not mention, but that’s your job. Think, ponder, and comment below. What would you do with a time machine?

-Trenton Stahl

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